This is a very personal subject to me, a passion of sort, a decade ago I discovered I couldn’t cope well with fear few years passed to realize that for as long as I remembered I lived under the pressure of deep fears, to be a successful person I had to conquer all my fears, face them and through that time I have learned few tactics that helped me get over most of them, just before I go to that I want to explain how great fear is.
In my opinion fear was the second most valuable element and contributor to the survival of the human race, flee or fight is what lead us through the dark ages and it still drive us until today and it will still in the future. Your heart races, your breathing accelerate… You run faster or hit harder.
Fear is not great because it just made us survive, fear is great because even though it doesn’t exist it had stopped the many of us to be with the person we love, to try something that could alter our destiny or even made us give up on our dreams.
Fear is great because even though it isn’t real, most of times, the beast that was hiding in the dark ages ago no longer exists and it doesn’t live under our beds yet we still fear darkness.
Fear is so connected that the fear of losing your mother after losing your father, while you were a child, could turn to the fear of losing money, taking risk, losing in chess or even the woman of your dreams.
Fear travels through time, it lives for decades and even travel through generations, your grandmother who was bit by a snack or experienced war will try to protect you, from any harm, you grow up fearing to try things because you were raised to be cautious and that accident you met during your childhood could hunt you down until you die
Fear is so demanding that climbing a wall with all measures taken, drains your arms and legs energy after the first climb, keeping in mind that doing a similar exercise on ground could be done hundred times before you even break a sweat.
Fear is what brings us together, as human we lived in groups to protect ourselves and survive, which later led us to create tribes, villages, cities and now countries.
Fear is powerful that watching a horror movie will make you fear going to toilet at night, and it could take you a week to get over it.
Enough said, these are ways I deal with fear, the deep one and in situations I face on a daily basis
- View fear as a stimulator: in the first episode of “Mad Men” Don Draper was meeting his client “Lucky Strike”, before the meeting starts Don had no idea what would be the new creative direction for the campaign would be, during the meeting he came up with it, he sold it to the client in a heartbeat, after the meeting someone told him this was genius how did you do it? His answer was “Fear stimulates my imagination”. Altering the way you think of something could after practice help you alter the way you react to it, fear strong mental released energy can help us overcome things if we were able to channel the energy coming from it to something good.
- Meditate, controlling your breathing, controls your heart beats: the first reaction the human body experience during the fear episode, is an Adrenaline released into our bloodstream, the heartbeat increase and your breathing accelerate, meditation is all about the controlling of your breathing mastering that can change the way your deal with your fear.
- Finding a distraction: even though this sounds simple most of the time it is hard to achieve, fear could be an overwhelming experience, and trying to look the other way could be a hard thing to-do, we have all been reminded that in the time when we are sad or afraid it is good to remind ourselves of something that make us happy… these days I have realized that watching TV series during adverse times can provide an outlet that keep me occupied which provide me with the time to forget the things going on my life, this doesn’t mean I am ignoring it, it just allow me to go pass the emotional crisis I am going through at that particular time.
- Keep reminding myself that fear in most times is just illusion: this one is also hard to achieve, fear doesn’t ask permission it just happens, keeping my feeling under check help, admitting fear even to others, saying out loud to myself or even writing about it has served me well… it is better than keeping it inside and allowing it take the best out of me.
- Facing my fears, bravery isn’t about not being scared it’s about doing something even though it scares you: time after time I was faced with the options of turning my back into something just because I was scared of it the first time, I am not going to lie and say I was able to face it every time, I have turned my back sometimes, to go back and do it another time, doing something in front of people you love works well using my ego to overcome fear have worked well, in the end anything is acceptable in this game even playing tricks on your own mind.
I was talking to my brother lately and I told him I don’t think there is a feeling more liberating, rewarding, that provide a real sense of achievement and fulfillment like conquering a fear… the more you do it easier it gets, and the better your life becomes… I encourage you to do what I did, face your fear in every chance you get and don’t let it take the best of you one day you will look back smile and realized it was nothing but an illusion.